Yesterday, I came across a post in a Facebook group. It was posted by a girl who, although overweight to an extent, was actually very pretty. At least in my opinion. She stated that she had gone to a club with friend and was dancing and a man came up and started dancing with her. She was having fun until she realized that he and his friends were secretly making fun of her appearance, laughing and pointing. It had obviously hurt her feelings. Some ass-hat decided to post a comment saying something to the effect of "it's what's on the inside that counts and inside you're beautiful."
At first I thought "well, that's sweet." Then a second later I realized that no is is actually a horrible thing to say to someone. First of all, no, the inside very rarely counts for shit when you first meet an individual. What immediately attracts people is looks. You can be the most funny, intelligent, and amazing creature on the planet. It doesn't matter. You have to actually attract the person first. I'm sorry to ruin hopes that people in this world can see beyond that, but I am proof that they don't.
I didn't grow up very pretty. I was never asked on dates and my date to the prom is what I called a "pity-date." It wasn't until I became and adult, and lost over 70 pounds that I started to be considered pretty. I was suddenly being asked out by attractive men, and getting hit on at clubs all the time. It really confused me because I, like every other not-so-pretty girl, had been told that it was what is on the inside of your heart that really mattered. It is absolute horse shit. Looks count in every major aspect in life. Attractive people are considered for employment more often than those who may be more qualified.
What causes me to do face-palms the most isn't the fact that beauty is so regarded in this world. It's that we try to convince less attractive people that it isn't. I won't lie, when I was younger and naive I fell for that. Then, I grew up. I actually had a friend in high school who was the first to tell me the truth. I told her how ugly I felt and that I was just going to be alone because of it. She looked right at me and said, "someone will see past your looks to who you really are." At first, I was angry that basically she just agreed that I was ugly. Now that I'm older and wiser, I feel thankful that I had someone in my life who was honest.
I see pictures posted on social media of two individuals standing next to each other: one has some horrible genetic defect and the other is clearly a model. The caption underneath reads "like if you think both are just as beautiful." It absolutely disgusts me. You can't say one thing and do another.
My solution to this problem is simple: stop with the bullshit. It is condescending to someone who not only feels ugly, but has been told over and over again that they are to say such things. Be honest. If you were born less attractive than others you have to work twice as hard. Things will not come as easy to you, and you may not find prince charming. THAT hard work and determination despite a lack of blessings in the looks department is what is truly beautiful.
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