The Last Stage

When I decided to write this post I dove back into my psychology textbooks from college, as that is what my major is. I really got into studying humanism (which focuses on the whole person, both the subject and observer). It revolves around the idea that most people are innately good. Most moved on to behaviorism and cognition which is the foundation of modern psychology.

I know I lost you. What made me get into this is living with my grandparents. It is not a huge secret that my grandfather is, in my opinion, in the final stages. Granted, this could go on for a very long time but the more I study his behavior, the more I refer back to the stages of development. Which is why I went back to my text books.

I'm personally pissy because I can't remember what specific psychologist talked about transitioning between stages. And I can't remember which one described the "golden years" as a time of reflection on your life: basically making peace with your failures and (hopefully) accepting your mortality. My grandmother whizzed right through this phase. She has lived a very charmed life. My grandfather, I think, has had issues with it. And I really do not know why.

He is a retired Colonel in the Army. He flew helicopters. He's educated and highly respected both on a civilian and military level. He wasn't a man you talked back to. At least, I never did. But as I've watched him age I wonder if he got to the stage of his life where he's enjoyed his triumphs and made peace with his failures.  And I truly wonder if he is afraid to die.

There are times, before cocktail hour, where I have almost had the nerve to ask him questions that might help me better understand his position on his on life. I'm almost afraid he would actually tell me the truth; so I don't ask. I have never lost someone very close to me, and I know that he and my grandma will most likely be the first. And the perpetual student in me, really wants to learn from this experience. Dear God, does that sound warped?

My grandparents are a trip. They each do something daily that makes me fall down in laughter. What makes me laugh the most is them yelling at each other out of frustration because they are both getting  pretty hard of hearing. Then they get mad and yell even louder at each other. And yes, our family often makes fun of them for their quirks. Maybe it helps us forget that one day, not too far off, we will be exhibiting the exact same behaviors. Personally, when I'm in a home, just put on a Friend's DVD and I probably won't bother you at all.