Am I the Only One?

When I turned 30 it must have been like watching a surprise party for a cat: everyone is excited, but the cat just ends up sitting in a box the whole time, occasionally looking at flies on the wall. I had exactly five people show up to my birthday (before the cops did, but I'll get to that later) and all were married, with children. Thus, they had to be home at a certain time. Also, they were all bartenders I had gotten to know as I moved here. Grateful to have friends there, yes I was. Grateful to be turning 30, hell-to-the-negative. It wasn't exactly the ho-down I was looking for.

Not going to lie, I was depressed. Here I was, 30 and single. I had accomplished none of the things I had hoped by that time. Well, I had accomplished one: moving out of Indiana. But, that was it. I felt bad because I eventually drank enough to disarm my feelings and tell people I was depressed. They felt bad, but didn't and COULDN'T understand what that felt like. Then, the cops were called because someone there had a warrant out for their arrest. Indeed, the fun-filled evening had ended.

What did hit me the most the next day was how much faster my thirties were going to go compared to my twenties. See, your twenties are all about self-discovery. No one goes into this period knowing exactly who they are and what they want to be. That's what your twenties are for. Well, that and having the best tolerance ever for alcohol and bullshit. I get on Facebook daily and see pictures of the people I grew up with. They show photos of their children going off to school, new houses and DIY projects that I neither have the patience or finances to complete. I wonder, am I the only one?

Am I the only one who has somehow managed to escape the cliche that you need a man and a family to be "successful?" At first, I believed yes. But now, as I'm approaching my 31st birthday I am learning that I get to live a life and experience things in a way that my peers never will. I am also learning that people treat you differently as a single, thirty-something female. And finally, I am learning that simple-minded people sometimes need to be put in their place. That is what I will continue to write about, as well as challenging the ideals I held in my twenties.